If you are feeling down at all, in any way, then PLEASE read this.

Psalm 143
A psalm of David.
1 O LORD, hear my prayer,
listen to my cry for mercy;
in your faithfulness and righteousness
come to my relief.

2 Do not bring your servant into judgment,
for no one living is righteous before you.

3 The enemy pursues me,
he crushes me to the ground;
he makes me dwell in darkness
like those long dead.

4 So my spirit grows faint within me;
my heart within me is dismayed.

5 I remember the days of long ago;
I meditate on all your works
and consider what your hands have done.

6 I spread out my hands to you;
my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.
Selah

7 Answer me quickly, O LORD;
my spirit fails.
Do not hide your face from me
or I will be like those who go down to the pit.

8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.

9 Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD,
for I hide myself in you.

10 Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.

11 For your name's sake, O LORD, preserve my life;
in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.

12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies;
destroy all my foes,
for I am your servant.

I found this rather ironic.

Ok, so I know I'm supposed to be working, but at the minute there are too many distractions,... especially the source of my irony.

I just got trounced at Scrabble in a most worthy of ways, Karen my opponent managed to finish with an 83 point Bingo of 'mootings', and that has left my rating, after 4 completed games, at 666.

I found that rather amusing.

Tickled me somewhat this did.

I needed this...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fq2-O_G9nDM

Expectations.

I think one of the things I'm finding hardest about my situation is that everyone keeps telling me their expectations of me, telling me not to let them down, making me feel so guilty that I am letting them down.

Feels like I'm being put through a manual juicer.

I really want to just give up, but nope can't do that, too many people counting on me.
Should just get their own lives and not count on someone who'll inevitably let them down.

Is it wrong...

... that I want to be a warrior of old, a master swordsman, a champion for all?

Is it at all strange that I wish to fight for king and country, for god and for love, to defend the people from the forces of darkness?

I want to shatter the grip of evil power, I want to carve a bloody swathe through creatures beyond salvation, showing the fallen the erros of their ways.

I want to liberate a world chained by shadow, and I want to do it wielding a sword wrought of heaven, screaming righteous fury, battling inner demons but ultimately choosing the light.

Was I born of an age long forgotten, or am I just not meant for this world, or is it that I long for a metaphor and have yet to discover the truth behind my longing?

Or is it that I have just lost touch with reality?